the joy of dressing up for a meal
the beauty of dining out and the outfits that come with it
As with most South Asian families, food was a big deal. If a celebration was the universe, the food was the sun that all our activities would orbit around. Eid was always about my grandmother's mutton biryani, and Eid mornings were about wearing our new outfits, getting our hair done, and picking up a caramel frappuccino - with extra whipped cream, please! And naturally, Eid afternoons were about taking a nap from the food coma. The run-up to my birthdays meant searching for the perfect dress, and ordering my favourite creamy vanilla cake from Mister Baker. And it was a week-long discussion, where is the perfect place to have the birthday dinner?
Even when we travel, the first thing we would do right after the flights & the hotels were confirmed was make the reservations. During university, my friends would joke about how the discussion over lunch is what we should eat for dinner. Hangry Fatima is a very different person, and I’m sorry if anyone has had the displeasure of interacting with her.
For a while now, my family has had a tradition of going out for weekly meals. We would try out new restaurants in Dubai, get dressed up in our finest, order a feast, and then I would go around the table asking rapid-fire questions like I was Karan Johar in Koffee with Karan - for those who don’t know, it’s an Indian talk show known for shit stirring and gossip. And yes, we thought about a name for my version too - it was Frapuccino with Fatima. Looking back, I think these meals sort of shaped me - they fostered my love of exploring culture through food. I would be completely averse to trying a new dish in very few situations. Dining out also made me appreciate the act of going out for a meal with people I care about to slow down. Talk about our days, our weeks, our hopes.
If it wasn’t already obvious - I think about food quite often, and when I’m not thinking about food, I often think about what I’ll wear to go eat food. I find that my experiences with food and fashion have so frequently been intertwined. I loved the experience of the meals, the food, the decor, the service, and the company. Though the experience of the meal didn’t start when we entered the restaurant, it started before we even left the house. Let’s call this the ‘pregame’ to the meal.
When we would go out to nice restaurants, picking out my outfit was such a joy. My family would vote on what dress and shoe combo went together the best. If there was time, I might have asked my sister to help me do my hair. Maybe play around with my mom’s makeup a little bit. I probably would take a selfie or two, and think ‘Wow, I look so good right now’. It’s important to note, that I was quite young during these times, maybe 10 or 12 years old. I had awkward braces and glasses, and my hair had always had a bit of a Hagrid touch to it. Most of the time when I got dressed to go to school, I definitely did not feel like hot shit. So, those moments I would get dressed up to go for dinner or a meal felt quite special to me.
I became more comfortable in my own skin, dressing up made me feel more like a lady and less like an awkward preteen. It was a prime example of looking good and feeling good. I felt like I was developing a sense of style, and it was exciting to be able to pull inspiration from the environment around me and curate my own look. It was a chance to experiment with something new, and take pride in what I looked like because, after all, it was all me. I did that, I put it together.
I had a look through the archives, and wanted to share some photos of these ‘dining out outfits’. Warning - I may not wear most of these looks now, but they made me feel good at the time and that’s what matters. And I don’t regret a single one.
A simple dinner out could make a day feel like an occasion and an outfit like a canvas for creative expression and confidence. So my public service announcement today is to make that reservation, invite your friends & family, and pick out your outfit!! And if you want go the extra mile, think of some prying questions to make everyone answer to dinner your own talk show.
As always, thanks for joining me on this stream of conciousness.
xx FFR